NOTABLE QUOTABLE QUOTES FROM SOME OF ROCKNROLL'S FINEST CHARACTERS
(and Blaze Bayley)
“So I'm in the shower washing me hair, then I feel this
stinging pain and hear this sudden plop.
And I see this lump of flesh going down the plug-hole. Fucking
‘ell, my nose has fallen off!”
Status
Quo’s Francis Rossi rues nostril-related cocaine damage
“I
was fat and self-conscious. I was a turd onstage, just a useless
turd.”
Justin
Hawkins on his last days with The Darkness. No arguing from
me…
“Is
this Billy Ocean? Are they black? Are they males or females?”
Dave Mustaine of Megadeth reviews FM’s ‘Frozen
Heart’ in the pages of Metal Hammer
“I
went into rehab a few times and every time I’d check
out Dave [Ellefson] would be waiting outside in his car,
with a CD with heroin and coke on top.”
Dave Mustaine, speaking in 1992
“When
I die I want to come back as a fire hydrant.”
Living Colour’s Corey Glover
“We
have groupies, sure we do. Jesus Christ had groupies. He had
thousands of people following Him.
I prefer to call them friends than groupies, but it’s
a sign that you’re a real rock ‘n’ roll
band.
I just hope that the girls we meet out there are able to benefit
from the one we speak about.”
Stryper’s
Robert Sweet, in 1986
“I’ve
tasted success. It’s a cross between strawberry milkshake
and roast beef.”
Gary Barden
“I
don’t care if someone wants to get fucked up and party,
you should at least be able to play. He did half of ‘Unskinny
Bop’
without the guitar plugged in. That was it for me. I walked
offstage and drove away. I haven’t spoken to him since.”
Bret Michaels recalls the night in 1991 that CC DeVille was
sacked from Poison
“We
want a team player, not some hired hand who’ll make
one album, get themselves a reputation and then split.”
Michaels before Poison hired Richie Kotzen –
for one album!
“The
second album will be a lot better. We’ll have two songs
on it.”
A fairly rash prediction from Zodiac Mindwarp
“I
run this band like The Mafia. We don’t talk about The
Family outside The Family”
Jon
‘The Godfather’ Bon Jovi in a 1990 interview with
RAW magazine
“I
punched the shit out of Sebastian [Bach], decked him right
on his fat little ass. I knocked him out and I’d do
it again.
He bad-mouthed me on my own stage, and you don’t fucking
do that when you’re playing with my gear
and even his shoes were mine.”
JBJ
in the same interview.
“Look,
I’m a 22-year-old Metallica freak on speed. I’m
psychotic. I can drink four bottles of whiskey before I go
onstage.
Jon is a 31-year-old Bruce Springsteen fan, a businessman
with a fax machine.
He gets pissed on one drink. Who do you think is gonna win
a fight?”
Bach
disputes the outcome of the aforementioned scrap
“I’ve
never had any money and I still don’t. Rock and roll
should be about people coming together as one,
not worrying how to how to turn a $69 million fortune into
$71 million.”
Seb
makes his feelings on JBJ very clear indeed
“David
Coverdale has had to make certain cosmetic changes to crack
America – ‘cosmetic’ being the operative
word.”
Gary Moore
“The
great thing about Obituary is that we’re heavier than
a bag of donkey’s balls.”
That band’s drummer Don Tardy
“It's
like the old joke about the circus employee whose is job was
to walk behind the elephants and clean up [their droppings].
He keeps on complaining until somebody finally says, ‘Just
stop’, to which he replies, ‘What? And give up
showbusiness?!’”
Meat
Loaf’s less than ecstatic attitude towards performing
live
“What
is that, a condom? I haven’t used one of those since
I was four.”
Heartfelt
nostalgia from David Coverdale as an inflated johnny is thrown
onto Wembley Arena’s stage in June 2008
“My
life is part humour, part roses, part thorns. I'll come off
the stage at Texas Stadium [and] I’m a rock god.
Then, an hour and a half later, I'm throwing a football and
waiting for a cheeseburger from a truck stop alongside a freeway.
That is the balance in life.”
Poison’s
Bret Michaels disappears up his own rectum
“They
are the most pathetic attempt at rock ‘n’ roll
I’ve ever heard”.
Yngwie
Malmsteen on Iron Maiden
“Other bands wanted to wreck hotel rooms; Roxy Music
wanted to redecorate them.”
Bryan
Ferry
"I
always thought that Pink Floyd were a band for people who
don't like music or rock 'n' roll."
Jack Bruce
"[It
should be] thrown into the dustbin and never listened to by
anyone ever again."
Roger Waters on the Floyd's 'Atom Heart Mother'
suite, from 1970
"Sometimes.
Usually. But not much."
David Gilmour when asked in 1968 whether Pink
Floyd took drugs onstage
"I
raised the guys from Classic Rock magazine; they used to be
crawling around in the back lounge [of our tourbus], getting
blowjobs."
White Lion's Mike Tramp - um, he's lying... honest!
"What
Kiss is doing right now reminds me of like what some great
fighters did when they come out of retirement,
when they should have just rolled up the towel [and quit].
That's the way it seems to me now. It's getting embarrassing."
Ace Frehley says what everyone else is thinking
"[We
are] part Chippendales, part rock band."
Vivian
Campbell on Def Leppard's image.
"People
ask how I learned to play bass [the way I do]. With a face
like mine, you learn to do a lot of things with one hand."
Peter
Steele of Type O Negative
"Metal
is dead and I am done with it."
Rob
Halford, speaking in 1996
"I
recorded my 'Electric' album [1999] at their studio Lartington
Hall in County Durham. One day the guys were playing this
horrible, horrible music. I asked, 'What the hell's this?
Is something wrong with the studio?' They said, ‘No,
it's Venom.
It’s meant to sound like that'. It was absolutely fucking
horrible, so I made them turn it off."
Paul
Rodgers recalls the day he first heard Venom
"You've
unleashed the fucking fury."
Yngwie
Malmsteen famously threatens a fellow airline passenger after
she spills a glass of water on him
"Gene's
a prat. He's just a silly man in a silly wig. He's just a
prat. What more is there to say about him?
He's his own worst enemy by being in the public eye."
Sharon Osbourne, who obviously has no knowledge of
pots or kettles...
"Earnestness
is our business and this is the revolution."
Pretentious? Ian Astbury of The Cult?! Never!
"Our
tour will be a gathering place for desperate souls. People
who've been disappointed by watered-down, mediocre rock 'n'
roll.
A lot of rock bands are like little kids playing with big-boy
toys - we're playing by big-boy rules.
This tour is for people who need meat in their sandwich."
Astbury once again, still hell-bent on making Pseuds'
Corner
"What
about all you wankers back there? Make some noise. You sound
like a herd of syphilitic pussies."
Lamb Of God's Randy Blythe gently introduces himself
to Heaven And Hell's audience in Birmingham, 2007
"We
don't mind getting laughed at. We're in good company - all
the great composers were laughed at, misunderstood, ridiculed..."
Joey DeMaio of Manowar in 1994
"Going
to England used to be like dying, being reborn and going to
Valhalla, but the British lost their minds.
They betrayed the cause of heavy metal by going grunge several
years ago. Let's just hope they come to their senses."
DeMaio in the same interview.
"Geffen
Records are so exited to have Manowar on their label. They
are, indeed, very fortunate."
'Modesty' is Joey's middle name
"Tommy
Thayer used to be in a Kiss tribute band - and he still is!"
Ace Frehley on the successor that wears his stage
make-up
"Jimmy
Bain couldn't mix cement. A lot of heroin was being taken,
that's why it's a crap album."
Brian Robertson on 'Stand Your Ground', Wild Horses' 1981
swansong
"If
I could have my own chicken coop in the studio, my own world
to live in, I could play a lot better."
Ex-GN'R
guitarist Buckethead - and we wonder why we're **still** waiting
for the 'Chinsese Democracy' album
"[UFO
bassist] Pete Way gave me a cassette he'd made of Free. It
blew me away from the opening notes.
I was writing songs for my first solo album at the time, and
it was like I had to stop the car, get out,
set fire to the car, and get a new car..."
Joe Bonamassa on the day he discovered the real meaning
of the blues
"We
will continue until the spandex explodes."
Twisted Sister's Dee Snider
"Hopefully
I'll die onstage like Tommy Cooper. I always thought that
he went out really well - to the sound of laughter.
I am going to hell, though. That's where all the pool tables
are."
Lemmy Kilmister
"I'm
more concerned about W Axl Rose's facelifts than his hair.
Seriously, he looks like a candle that's starting to melt".
Brian
Fair, Shadows Fall
"No,
I can't play the guitar like [classical master Andrés]
Segovia,
but the flipside of that is that Segovia could probably never
have played like me."
Was
Kurt Cobain **really** being serious about the above in 1994?
|
"We're
more like [late-'60s kids TV show] The Banana Splits
than the [glam-metal] 'dudes' of Sunset Strip."
Jay Pepper of Tigertailz
Tigertailz, pictured yesterday
|
"Ronnie
James Dio is one of the vilest people in the industry."
Ex-Dio/current Def Leppard guitarist Vivian
Campbell
"I
hope Vivian Campbell fucking dies. He's a fucking asshole.
He called me the most despicable human being that ever lived.
I thought I gave him a chance and made him somebody. And now
he's playing with Def fucking who?
There's a fucking rock band for you to fucking have diarrhea
with."
Ronnie bites back #1
"Let
me go on record as saying here's a man who smells like chicken
soup.
I've smelled better Spaniards at gigs in Pamplona than Vivian
Campbell."
Ronnie bites back #2
"A
French magazine printed my obituary. How did I die? I dunno,
it was in French."
Lemmy Kilmister
"Can
you imagine any 14-year-old girl screaming at us in ecstasy?"
Magnum's Bob Catley... and no, we can only comprehend
them doing that on ecstasy!
"Mae
West whispered to me, 'Why don't you come on back to my trailer?'
I said: 'Because you're 86 years old and I'm not even sure
if you're a woman or not'. But if I hadn't have been married
I would've gone. Definitely. Just for the experience."
Alice Cooper
"I
met Elvis Presley in Las Vegas in 1974. The place was bristling
with guns. Elvis asked me to hold a gun
and started demonstrating how to kick [it] out of someone's
hand. I'm standing there with a loaded .38,
aiming it at Elvis [and] part of me's going, 'Shoot him! Shoot
him!' Ha-ha!"
Alice Cooper once again
"I
still use it, now and again. If Percy isn't pointing at the
pulchritude then he needs a bit of a push. What's wrong with
that?"
Lemmy on Viagra
"I
won't watch it because I don't want to think of Metallica
like fragile fucking old men that can't have a cocktail because
they're afraid of what they'll become. Fuck that!"
Kerry King from Slayer's view on the Some Kind
Of Monster movie
"Oh
listen, the reason we did that movie was to piss Kerry King
off.
If he hated Some Kind Of Monster, that's the only stamp of
approval that I need."
The right to reply goes to Lars Ulrich
"Warner
Brothers Records know [all] about my bodily functions. I sent
them cum. I signed my record contract in piss.
I Fed-Exed a diaper full of shit to them from Paris."
Ministry's Al Jourgensen
"I'm
the only man who's fighting to save this planet, whilst living
on another."
Ulp! Could it be possible that Jon Anderson,
the environmentally-conscious Yes vocalist, has a sense of
humour after all?!
"Ritchie
[Blackmore] is a giant amongst guitar players, I don't think
anyone would dispute that. But he's an intellectual dwarf."
Ian Gillan of Deep Purple, October 1993
"One
of these days I'm going to attack Ian Gillan in a back alley.
He's bigger than me, and probably a better fighter,
so I'm gonna do it with a few friends of mine - probably Swedish.
We'll beat him up, but he won't know it's me."
Blackmore responds
"Study
law and buy a gun."
Noel Redding of the Jimi Hendrix Experience's
advice when asked how to forge a career in the music business
"Very
good question... now all we need is a very good answer. I
don't know."
Phil Mogg when, in 1985, a writer asked him if new UFO
fans expected the band to sound like the Scorpions or Iron
Maiden
"Maiden
consistently sell 80 to 100,000 albums in Japan. Metallica
continue to be enormous. Bruce Springsteen is massive.
But AC/DC don't [even] exist over here. Forget it."
Bruce Dickinson on the vagaries of the Oriental music
market
"If
you want to stop the spread of AIDS around the world, give
it to Z Records to distribute."
Ex-Tyketto/Vaughn singer Danny Vaughn
"I
may be three years older than Jim Morrison, but I'm three
years younger than Jesus. I'm just waiting to be crucified."
If self-obsession were to be made a capital offence, HIM's
Ville Vallo would certainly be a marked man
"When
Nirvana played unplugged it was truly horrible. They were
adequate rock musicians, [but] the format left them floundering."
Ian Anderson, Jethro Tull
"Anybody
attending this tour will go to Valhalla."
Manowar's Eric Adams, 2007
"It's
verging on ridiculous. Al was in the band before electricity,
if I remember."
KK Downing on Al Atkins' insistence upon billing himself
as Judas Priest's former singer
"I
snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding
him up with a little bit of blow [cocaine].
My dad wouldn't have cared. It went down pretty well and I'm
still alive."
Keith Richards takes parental bonding to new levels
"How
many of you communicated with the dead recently? Come on London,
you have a great history as renowned necromancers.
I find it easy to communicate to the dead because they seem
to listen, unlike the living."
Celtic Frost bassist Martin Eric Ain introduces 'Necromantical
Screams' at London's Koko, March 2007
"The
main personality difference between myself and Ritchie [Blackmore]
was that I was terrific and he was a twat."
Deep Purple's Ian Gillan turns psycho-analyst
"It
was pretty obvious, really. Ritchie must have been suffering
from pre-minstrel tension."
Ian Paice's on Blackmore's final exit from Purple,
back in 1993
"There's
nobody like us at the moment. There's Alice Cooper and Kiss,
but we're much better than thsoe bands."
Lordi guitar player Amen shoots his mouth off
"Well,
good. When Lordi are working in the shoe store next year they
can tell everybody that.
Bravado's great, but what separates the champs from the chumps
is what you achieve, not what you believe."
Paul Stanley responds witheringly to the above
"Ozzy
Osbourne is a moron. He couldn't carry a tune around in a
suitcase.
Ozzy, you'll never be welcome here again and nobody needs
you."
Ronnie James Dio hits the press trail for the 'Mob Rules'
album in 1981
"Bless
Ozzy. He's a special, special person. He's one of the creators
of heavy metal music. A wonderful man.
I hope he and Sharon's lives are very happy."
Ronnie at the Classic Rock Awards in 2006. Er... so what
changed?!
"Sharon
told me about a place where they teach you to drink properly.
It was the Betty Ford Centre.
I thought, 'That's it! I've been doing it wrong!'. So I walk
in, expecting a demonstration of how to drink a Martini, and
I say,
'Hi Betty Ford, where's the bar?' This receptionist is like,
'What?!'"
Ozzy Osbourne
"It's
ironic that Ozzy can play for the Queen, but not show up for
two Ozzfests."
Slayer's Kerry King
"Everybody
has their faults. I'm a stuttering Irish git, John [McCoy]'s
a fat bastard and Robin [Guy]'s a drummer."
Bernie Tormé of GMT introduces his band-mates at
the Peel in Kingston, August 2006
"The
record absolutely sucks"
In 2006, Rachel Bolan finally speaks the truth about Skid
Row's 'Subhuman Race' album
"I
always related more to the guitar than I did to people."
Ritchie Blackmore, also in 2006
"He
looks like he's wearing a coyote on his head."
US comedian Andrew 'Dice' Clay on Gene Simmons (it's more
of a water buffalo to me)
"The
answer is [for the coalition] to get the fuck out of there,
build a wall around it and sell fucking tickets."
Lemmy of Motörhead's answer to the Middle
East problem
"Everybody
chill the hell out, y'know? Go get a cocktail. Relax... They
should put in a whole bunch of Irish taverns;
forget the blitzkreig and have a couple of beers."
And Zakk Wylde from Black Label Society's solution
to this crisis
"The
British music press are fucking wankers. They eat shit in
the bath."
Freddie Mercury onstage in London, 1978
"I'm
as gay as a daffodil, dear."
Freddie Mercury again
"If
I didn't have Freddie Mercury's lyrics to hold on to as a
kid, I don't know where I'd be now."
W Axl Rose; thanks a lot for nothing, Fred
"Four
inch nails is more like it!"
Courney Love on hitting the sack with Trent Reznor
"If
she died tomorrow, I wouldn't shed a tear. She's a very evil
person."
Trent on Courtney
"I
didn't ask to save rock, I don't even like rock that much."
Trent
once more - presumption is his middle name
"Listen,
I have no clue who you are, but we both know who I am. So
shut the fuck up and listen to my music."
Megadeth's
Dave Mustaine silences a heckler
"I'm
a family-oriented guy. I've personally started four or five
[of them] this year already."
David
Lee Roth
"We
sound like the Bay City Rollers after an assault by Black
Sabbath."
Kurt
Cobain on Nirvana
"Fuck
political correctness, that went down with the World Trade
Centre."
Blackie
Lawless of W.A.S.P.
"I'm
an egomaniac with an inferiority complex."
Eric
'God' Clapton
"I've
been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes."
Jimi
Hendrix
"All
the bad things that happened to me were directly attributed
to drugs and alcohol. I would never piss on the fucking Alamo
at nine o'clock in the morning dressed in a woman's evening
dress whilst sober."
Ozzy
Osbourne... though midday's not outta the question
"I
love women, they should be naked backstage all the time."
Motörhead's
Lemmy
"I
don't own a gun. Actually, I own about 150 guns."
James
Hetfield of Metallica
"Rod
Stewart, Elton John and I were going to form a band called
Hair, Nose & Teeth, named after the three of us.
But it hasn't happened yet because nobody could agree on the
order of the words!"
Freddie 'The Teeth' Mercury
"There
was a period during the 1970s when all the acid labs in the
world were working at full production, just to keep the Manband
supplied."
Deke Leonard, Man
"Here's
some songs I used to do with Black Sabbath before they employed
a midget. How can a four-foot poof sing about the devil?"
Ozzy
Osbourne takes a swipe at Ronnie James Dio onstage in the
80s
"Nicko
McBrain and I have had some belting arguments. We've been
virtually nose-to-nose screaming at each other,
and with his nose being so flat, that's very close up."
Iron Maiden's Steve Harris
"If
I was going to listen to anybody, I'd listen to me. I love
the stuff I do. It's the greatest.
I've played things that were just the ultimate. If there had
been blind people in the audience,
they'd have walked away from the gig seeing."
Ted Nugent blowing his own trumpet again, back in
1977
"I
was supposed to do a solo record many years ago and I wanted
Alex Harvey, Steve Marriott and Bon Scott
[all now sadly deceased] to be on it. So if ever I ask you
to be on my solo record, say no."
Rick Neilsen, Cheap Trick
"Some
people are hams. I'm the whole pig. Look at me, I'll take
my shirt off."
Paul Stanley of Kiss. Just don't rupture that hip replacement,
Starchild...
"It
kinda looks like a German military helmet. It says 'Made in
Japan' right back here."
Nick Simmons on his dad Gene's alleged 'hair'
"He'll
[do a] work out, but the hair doesn't sweat."
Sophie, Gene's daughter, gets in on the act
"Sebastian
Bach hasn't changed. He's still low IQ, high RPM."
Manager Doc McGhee in the VH1 reality show Supergroup
"Who's
the fraud now, bitch? Get in the ring. Go to the gym, motherfucker.
Or get a new wig, you fat, botox-faced, wig-wearin' fuck!"
Velvet Revolver's Scott Weiland lays it down to W
Axl Rose
"I
was the Norman Wisdom [the UK's veteran comedy bungler] of
burglary.
I did everything wrong, like wearing gloves with no fingers."
Ozzy Osbourne, 1989
"Crimson
Glory are not The Beatles, but we've lasted twice as long."
Jon Drenning, (hopefully) sending himself up in the band's
20th anniversary year of 2006
"Touring
with Mötley Crüe [in the summer of 2005] was a farce.
We did it just for the money.
Their collective IQ barely reaches room temperature. The funniest
thing was that Tommy Lee loves Killing Joke,
but he was so busy filming ladies' breasts to realise we were
actually on the road with him. What high culture."
Killing Joke's Jaz Coleman
"The
songwriting on their last two records ['Jugulator' and 'Demolition']
just sucked a big dick."
Slayer's master of subtlety, Kerry King, on Judas
Priest
"Let
Flynn talk some more if he's got stupid shit like that to
say. He'll bury himself. But if I was a cartoon character,
I'd probably put a fucking grenade in his gut."
King turns his attention to Robb Flynn from Machine
Head
"The
guy's a jerk, a lard ass. He's eaten so many cheeseburgers
his brain's clogging up.
It's hard to get offended when the guy who's talking trash
about you looks like Right Said Fred with a beard,
and wears ass-less leather chaps. Where I live, in San Francisco,
that'd be Kerry Queen."
Flynn's top-notch response
"I
believe in metal more than anybody you've ever met. I'm prepared
to die for metal. Are you?"
Joey DeMaio of Manowar during a 2006 interview with
Rock Hard magazine.
"Adding
rap to rock music is a bit like taking the most beautiful
girl you've ever seen to a plastic surgeon,
then asking him to give her a penis."
Manowar's Karl Logan
"No,
not really. I don't think that that publication is too widely
circulated."
Peter Steele of Type O Negative on whether his appearance
in Playgirl changed his life
"It
was a dark day when she got naked in Playboy. Oh my God, girl.
Pay the $3,700 and raise those puppies up - yuk! Hahaha."
Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx on Ginger Spice
"I
fucking hate them. It's just Spinal Tap, isn't it? Just a
lark. I'm not sure they think so, though."
Jon Bon Jovi on The Darkness
"My
epitaph should read: I told you I was sick."
Meat Loaf
"Madam,
you're a banquet of a woman!"
David Coverdale, to a lady who exposed her breasts
at Whitesnake's Hammersmith Apollo show
"I
got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat, but that's
okay - the bat had to get Ozzy shots."
Ozzy Osbourne
"It's
not how big your pencil is; it's how you write your name."
Megadeth's Dave Mustaine
"I
think that quotes are very dangerous things."
Kate
Bush
"Sir
Cliff [Richard]'ll never stop doing 'Summer Holiday', and
it's the same with us."
Pete
Way, on why UFO still play so many songs from their live album
'Strangers In The Night'
"I
wouldn't know about any of the newer bands. We're a bit past
the pimple stage."
AC/DC's Angus Young
"I
was born in 1949 - which seems like a long time ago. Actually,
it is a long time ago, when I think about it."
Rick Wakeman of Yes
"Angels
cry because they want to experience what you and I feel: the
moment. They live in eternity.
They don't know what it is like to read a newspaper and get
ink on your fingers. They don't know what it is like
to take your shoes off and wiggle your toes under the dinner
table."
Carlos Santana
"People
see our logo and think we are blood-drinking devil worshippers.
Which we are, of course."
Adrian Smith, Iron Maiden
"David
Lee Roth was great in Van Halen, no question about it. He
was one of the best at being Mr. Rock Star.
20 years later it's sickening to see a guy still trying to
be that but wearing a wig."
Sammy Hagar
"At
our age, you don't want to stop. Because if you stop, you
might not get back up again."
Alex Van Halen
"The
success of The Osbournes as a TV show is an indictment of
the soullessness of mankind."
Ted
Nugent, for once speaking from his mouth and not his behind
"They
were doing a dance that [they hoped] would give them some
credibility."
Slayer's Kerry King, when asked if Cradle Of Filth
had been doing a raindance backstage at Ozzfest 2002
"I
won't bother retaliating. If you read what Kerry has said
about other bands, I'd actually take that as a compliment
from the old git."
The response from COF's Dani Davey
"What
did Jesus Christ really do? He hung out with hard-drinking
fishermen."
Iggy Pop
"We've
got a long career ahead of us and it's going to be great.
Trust me."
Dan Hawkins, The Darkness
"I'd
rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."
Kurt Cobain
"I'd
rather be dead than cool."
Kurt Cobain again, speaking of whom...
"The
whole grunge thing is so... wrong. It's non-music."
Ritchie Blackmore
"One
out of every 100 interviews I do, I get a real journalist."
Glenn Danzig
"One
time Robert Plant was set to check into the same room after
I checked out, so I removed every light bulb,
ordered up a bunch of stinky cheese and put it under the mattress."
Richard 'Party Animal' Marx
"There's
a big lie in this business. That lie is that it's okay to
go out in flames. It doesn't do anybody much good.
I may be wrong, but I think Hendrix was trying to come around."
The late, great Stevie Ray Vaughan before his own
death in a 1990 helicopter crash
"When
I die, I'll probably climb out of the coffin and play the
organ at my own funeral!"
Rick Wakeman again
"Geoff
Tate is a two-faced douche bag. His new name should be Geoff
Taint. Screw him, he's now on my shitlist."
Mike Portnoy of Dream Theater rages for order about Queensrÿche's
singer
"There
are some wimps - pussies - throwing things. But you're not
hitting us, you're hitting the people at the front,
and those people are one of you. So I got a deal. All those
who want to throw shit at Twisted Sister,
meet us at the side of the stage afterwards. I don't care
how many of you are.
You can tell us we suck to our faces. We're ready... are you?!"
Twisted
Sister's Dee Snider offers out the Reading Festival, 1982
"Ninety-nine
per cent of my life is shit. With Iron Maiden, with my solo
stuff, whatever it is.
But if I'm really lucky one per cent of it will be a little
weenie bit of genius, and that's what sustains it all."
Bruce 'Always Look On The Bright Side' Dickinson
"What
are we thinking of calling the next album? 'Whip It Out, Wipe
It And Slide It Back In Again'!"
David Coverdale in 1985
"I
always wanted to be a basketball player."
Ronnie James Dio when asked a fact that his
fans might not know about him
"When
I started singing high-pitched metal tunes my mom said, 'You
sound like a dying cat'."
Sebastian Bach
"I
want people around me who are creative, lively, interested
and interesting. Dave [Gilmour] is none of those things.
He doesn't have any ideas and he's not really interested in
people who do, espect insofar as
they can write records that he can put his name on - which
is what has been happening since I left Pink Floyd."
Roger Waters, speaking in 1999
"If
our new album [1992's 'Dehumanizer'] doesn't sell, Tony [Iommi]
and I are gonna open a bed and breakfast."
Black Sabbath's Geezer Butler
"My
name is Francis and I'm an alcoholic."
Ex-It Bites singer/guitarist Francis Dunnery
switches on a kettle on top of an amplifier
to begin a solo show at Dingwalls in London
"Bad-mouthing
Ted Nugent is like picking on a cripple. His new band is so
bad. 17 people and none of them can play but him."
Sammy Hagar, speaking in 1982
"David
Lee Roth's problem is that he lives with a man, you see. He's
probably curious about my wife
because he'd like to have a relationship with me. But I'm
not interested in that stuff."
Sammy again, from the same interview
"Ronnie
Montrose is going bald. He's also ugly as shit. He's such
an asshole, I want that to be the headline of this article."
The Red Rocker once more
"My
wife's 34 double Ds!"
Slayer's Tom Araya, responding to a question
about his biggest influences
"He
was put into an escape pod and jettisoned into outer space."
Rob Zombie explains the mysterious departure
of White Zombie's drummer Ivan de Prume
"They
were hilarious. It was like seeing Spinal Tap. I expected
them to go into 'Sex Farm' at any second."
Henry Rollins on the time Black Flag opened
for Venom in 1986
"The
Darkness are a lovely band because I think they're taking
the piss. And if they're serious, well, that's very sad indeed"
Dan McCafferty of Nazareth
"Who
the fuck's Dan McCafferty anyway? Get him to talk to Brian
May about us."
Dan
Hawkins from The Darkness, mere seconds after admitting his
band had considered
using Nazareth's 'Please Don't Judas Me' as their live intro
tape.
"He's
a real consummate piece of excrement, just a bad person. I
wouldn't piss down his throat if his heart were on fire."
Ex-Journey singer Steve Perry, described by
the band's original manager Herbie Herbert
"He
was a total piece of shit; a fuckin' asshole. I should've
just driven away and found a real human being."
Herbie Herbert recalls Jonathan Cain's arrival
in Journey
"W
Axl Rose has the finest voice since Otis Redding."
James Dean Bradfield of the Manic Street Preachers
needs a new hearing aid
"Two
days ago we saw this guy who had his whole back tattooed with
our portraits. How stupid is that?"
Peter Criss, then still of Kiss, speaking to
Playboy magazine 1999
"David
Coverdale is good singer and a super chap. He likes himself
a great deal, which is fine.
His nickname in Whitesnake was 'Elsie'."
Ex-Deep Purple/Whitesnake keyboard player Jon
Lord
"We
called it a day due to a lack of interest from all parties,
including band members, record companies and managers.
A couple of people left, and I didn't want to become a David
Coverdale sort of character."
'Handsome' Mick Ransome explains the 1992 demise
of his band the Tattooed Love Boys
"I
must have tea when I'm on the road. No kettle, no show."
Angus 'Hellraiser' Young of AC/DC
"Hello
England!"
Marc Storace of Krokus invites open warfare at
Glasgow Apollo, Scotland
"David
Lee Roth should form a new band called Van Inhalen."
Sebastian Bach reflects on Diamond Dave's 1993
marijuana bust
