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Monday 20th May
Phew! After a solid week of work the Status Quo
re-issue sleeve essays are finished and approved. Alan
Lancaster just sent an email saying: “Excellent
Dave – I even learned something new about ‘Rocking
All Over The World’.” What a compliment!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Sunday 19th May
Last night was spent in the company of my two
sons, seated before the tellybox for the Eurovision Song
Contest. Er, what to say about Tony Iommi’s composition
for Armenia except... don’t call us, we’ll
call you! Very much a case of: “Armenia... Nil points!”
Amazingly, Iommi’s was not the worst offering of
the night. I had to exit the room during the Spanish entry,
complete with bagpipes – unlistenable bilge! And
what about that Romanian song… performed by something
that resembled a cross between Dracula, King Diamond and
Gary Glitter. Yikes! The UK was represented by the veteran
Bonnie Tyler, or as Rick Parfitt likes to call her, Tiny
Boiler. Tiny’s tune, co-penned by Desmond Child,
deserved far better than the meagre 23 points it managed
to accumulate (in fact, Armenia actually finished one
place higher, in 18th!). The political voting really pisses
me off!
As I type the cricket commentary is on in the background
and I’m working on album reviews for Metal Hammer.
I must say, I’m *really* impressed by the newie
from Queensrÿche (the Tate-less variety). Self-titled
and due via Century Media on June 24, the James ‘Jimbo’
Barton-mixed set features Tate’s hugely talented
replacement Todd LaTorre, previously of Crimson Glory,
on vocals. After the shame of 2011’s rambling, poorly
focussed ‘Dedicated To Chaos’ it goes some
way to reviving the signature sound of the Seattle band’s
much-cherished releases from the 1990s. Check out the
track ‘Where Dreams Go To Die’ here.
Accept no substitute, folks…
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Saturday 18th May
After days of rumour on internet message boards, today’s
newspapers are full of coverage of “Poogate”.
It seems that some dirty bastard representing the home
side took a dump in Palace’s dressing room prior
to Monday’s play-off victory. Fair play to Palace
for answering in the best possible way – out on
the pitch. Reports that Shiteon’s home is to be
renamed as the Andrex Stadium have yet to be confirmed.
Anyway, the Wembley tix have just arrived, so I’m
very happy indeed.
Facebook can be so addictive and time consuming that I’ve
opted to spend the last few days offline whilst completing
my expanded re-issue sleeve essays for Quo’s ‘Piledriver’
and ‘Rocking All Over The World’ albums. I
loved it when Francis Rossi picked up an acoustic guitar
and sang a segment of ‘Can't Give You More’
down the phone to explain a point on the song’s
birth. Spud’s comments to add tomorrow, and we’re
done!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Friday 17th May
Last night was spent at my local blues haunt,
the Beaverwood Club in Chislehurst – my first visit
to the place in quite a while, though among other events
scribbled into the desk diary I shall deffo go back there
on June 13 to see Michael Katon. On the first night of
a latest UK tour, the Billy Walton Band were yesterday’s
attraction. I’ve seen and enjoyed the New Jersey-based
combo several times before. The absence of saxophonist
Richie Taz, not due in the country for another 24 hours,
was a disappointment, but Walton fulfilled his part of
the bargain with some scorching blues-based riffs and
a very decent version of Hendrix’s ‘Little
Wing’.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Thursday 16th May
Yesssss! The postie has just delivered the tickets
I’d booked for England’s T20 game against
New Zealand at the Oval on June 25. Today’s haul
also includes a copy of the newly re-mastered edition
of Hawkwind’s 1975 masterpiece ‘Warrior On
The Edge Of Time’, which to my mortal embarrassment
till now I’d never owned on CD.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Wednesday 15th May
Cheers so much for all of the ‘congratulations’
emails and texts, which continue to roll in. They mean
a lot. I just booked the tickets for myself and seven
CPFC-obsessed friends to attend the Championship Play-Off
Final at Wembley Stadium on Bank Holiday Monday, May 27.
By the looks of it we are right on the halfway line –
a prime location. People keep asking whether I fancy Palace’s
chances of beating Twatford to claim a place in the so-called
Promised Land. Truthfully, promotion and the huge wads
of cash would be nice but we’ve already won our
cup final. (That’s what I’m telling myself
anyway…).
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tuesday 14th May
You’ll have to excuse me; I’m feeling
quite emotional. Just three years ago my beloved footie
club was on the verge of extinction. I stood all day long
chanting outside a bank as the money men cogitated upon
the future of CPFC. Look at us now: On May 27, after shafting
our biggest rivals in their own back yard along the way,
we get to compete at Wembley Stadium for the big £120
million prize – promotion back to the Premiership.
It’s a funny ol’ game!
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Monday 13th May
Wow – what an amazing conclusion to yesterday’s
other play-off semi-final between Twatford and Leicester.
To be honest I’d rather have played the Foxes should
the Eagles somehow make it through this evening, but that
last minute kick in the teeth from the Hornets was payback
for Claridge’s shin!
Must confess that as tonight’s kick-off approaches
I’m struggling more and more to focus upon my work.
Having drawn the home play-off tie and suffered a walloping
just a few weeks earlier, the odds are stacked in Shiteon’s
favour. But as history tells us, these underdog scenarios
have been known to bring out the best in the Eagles. Only
time will tell.
[Edit: The kids are now in bed and it’s 10.30pm.
I type this after opening another three-litre box of medium
dry Perry because, against the odds, Palace won the game.
I refer you to my earlier Facebook post: “Wilfried
Zaha I want your babies, Crystal Palace are going to Wembley!
Fuck off Shiteon scum, we can see you sneaking out!!!”
Seems to say it all…]
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Sunday 12th May
Happy birthday to Eddie Lemmy Selhurst Ling,
who came into the world exactly 16 years ago. I love you,
Sports Bud! X Here’s his birthday cake…

My Saturday afternoon and evening were spent down in
Kingston-On-Thames, where the Celebr8.2 progressive music
festival took place. I also found the time to conduct
a very entertaining interview with Andy Tillison of the
long-running UK-based band The Tangent – what an
interesting, highly quotable geezer!
Popping in and out of the venue all day, I could only
really focus upon the last two acts on the main stage.
There’s something slightly perplexing about Frost*.
I love the fact that they are a prog band with a sense
of humour but you can have too much of a good thing, and
after a while their smugness becomes mildly annoying.
They seem unable to be able to make a decision and stick
to it: ‘We’re splitting up’. ‘Aaah…
we’ve changed our minds’. They recruit a stand-in
key deputy (Tillison) and after mainman Jem Godfrey hurts
himself in a bizarre garden accident, and at the 11th
hour Godfrey decides to play everything with one hand
– rather well, actually. But it all seems so haphazard…?
In the end Frost* delivered an enjoyable yet fairly ramshackle
set plagued by equipment failures. Talking about his injury
Godfrey tells us: “In the space of about four minutes
I taught my kids every swearword I know” and later
on he and John Mitchell were reduced to fits of giggles
by their latest hardware hiccough. Musically speaking,
when they were good they were great but presentation-wise
I found it all to be a bit… amateur?
In nothing less than commanding, authoritative form, headliners
Threshold proceeded to wipe the floor with the Frosties.
Their show’s epic centrepiece, ‘Pilot In The
Sky Of Dreams’, is one of the best progressive-metal
tunes of recent years and I walked away from the Hippodrome
and back towards the station wondering how such an astonishingly
talented group, and one that has made such amazing music
for such a long period of time, can be so dismally overlooked
in their homeland.
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Saturday 11th May
It’s with a heavy heart that I find myself
typing the words: ‘Crystal Palace 0, Shiteon 0’.
The Eagles really needed to take a lead of some kind into
the way leg. With leading goalscorer Glenn Murray not
only drawing a blank but suffering an injury that will
keep him out of the game for several months, the balance
of power shifts towards the South Coast. How fucking depressing…
Luckily, this morning’s interviews with Alan Lancaster
and ‘Rocking All Over The World’ producer
Pip Williams went so wonderfully well that I can scarcely
feel the pain. Had you told me told me as a spotty teenager
on the way to Wembley Arena for my first ever rock gig
that someday I would ring Lancaster, and the bassist would
proclaim: “Aaaah, that’ll be the legendary
Dave Ling” then I would’ve said you were on
drugs! I’m really keen to make these sleeve essays
as definitive as possible. ‘RATW’ was the
first Quo album that I bought and side-stepping the debate
over that glossy production, I really wanna do it justice.
Have been playing it lots over last few days and it still
holds up well...
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Friday 10th May
So… the big day is here at last and, frankly,
I’m cacking myself. The ground is sold out and players
and fans both know their parts. Losing to The Scum, especially
in a competition as crucial as the play-offs, is simply
not an option. As I type this at around mid-afternoon
(KO is in a few hours’ time), a man’s thoughts
turn to two important questions: 1) Which Crystal Palace
will show up to face their fiercest rivals? The park team-esque
one or the version that plays like Brazil? And 2) Where
did I put that cherry brandy?
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Thursday 9th May
Did anyone else see Robert Fripp and Toyah last
night on All Star Mr And Mrs? The odd couple talked about
antique tickling sticks, sprinkled kisses over cups of
tea and the fluffy bunny rabbits that apparently rules
their house!!! ‘Surreal’ is not the word!
It was quite touching, though...
The mental pressure’s starting to build and I really
need something important to distract my attention from
tomorrow’s play-off first leg game with Shiteon
& Home Albion. So it’s very fortunate that I’ve
just begun work on the sleeve notes for the expanded re-issues
of Quo’s ‘Piledriver’ and ‘Rocking
All Over The World’ albums. Messrs Rossi and Parfitt
both agreed to give phone interviews. The candour of both
was most welcome. Other participants to follow…
Getting back to tomorrow’s game with The Scum, in
future when people ask me to explain The Rivalry, I shall
simple refer them to this
story from the Daily Mail []. It does a fairly decent
job of raking over past skirmishes, though sadly fails
to mention a glorious 5-0 victory that took place in 2002
in the first game contested by the clubs in 13 years.
My friend Sy Sharp has just reminded me that after the
final whistle blew that afternoon, the Selhurst announcer
said: “For the safety of the Br***ton fans we will
be keeping you in the ground for 30 minutes. And to the
Palace fans, we’ve stocked the bar!” Genius!
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Wednesday 8th May
Having missed their reunion with former singer
Neal Morse at High Voltage back in 2001 – check
out the footage here
– I was shocked to discover that my last sighting
of Spock’s Beard was way, way back in 2008. Knocked
out by the Californian band’s utterly excellent
current album ‘Brief Nocturnes And Dreamless Sleep’,
last night I zoomed over to the Garage in North London
to set that straight.
A few days earlier I’d seen Sound Of Contact, a
new band featuring Simon ‘Son Of Phil’ Collins
on vocals and drums, in more intimate surroundings (see
Diary, May 2). I hope this admission might come back to
bite me in the future but I was a bit disappointed by
their electric performance. From where I was stood, Collins
didn’t seem have a great voice or much onstage charisma
(lower case ‘C’). It comes to something when
the guy that isn’t even a member of your band –
guitarist John Wesley of Porcupine Tree fame – outshines
its potential star. Beginning and ending with instrumental
pieces (‘Möbius Slip, Part One: In The Difference
Engine’ and ‘Cosmic Distance Ladder’),
SOC also played ‘Pale Blue Dot’, the single
‘Not Coming Down’, ‘Remote View’,
‘Closer To You’ and ‘Omega Point’.
I’d like to see them again soon because SB’s
Ted Leonard was also slightly low in the mix – possibly
it was a poor PA? – the difference being that the
older man knew how to project himself, also to bring the
audience into the show.
With Leonard having taken the place of Nick D’Virgilio,
himself a successor to Morse (who became a born again
Christian 11 years ago), Spock’s have done well
to see out the last decade. ‘Brief Nocturnes…’
is a brilliant piece of work – no wonder they included
all but one of its seven songs. ‘Crack The Big Sky’
and ‘The Distance To The Sun’, for from ‘Day
For Night’, represented the Morse era during the
main set, with ‘Walking On The Wind’ and ‘Cakewalk
On Easy Street’ flying the flag for the D’Virgilio
years. Keyboard weirdo Ryo Okumoto insisted upon throwing
in his zany comments which helped to keep things interesting.
If I’m truthful I’d like to have a heard a
bit more of the older stuff, ‘June’ and ‘The
Doorway’ among those tracks sorely missed, though
a lengthy rendition of ‘Go The Way You Go’
was an uplifting way to round things off. The set-list
ran as follows: ‘Something Very Strange’,
‘I Know Your Secret’, ‘Crack The Big
Sky’, ‘Hiding Out’, ‘Walking On
The Wind’, ‘Submerged’, ‘Cakewalk
On Easy Street’, ‘Afterthoughts’, ‘The
Distance To The Sun’ and ‘Waiting For Me’,
plus ‘Go The Way You Go’.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Tuesday 7th May
What kind of an idiot thinks it’s okay
to jump up onstage, knock over a defenceless 62-year-old
musician who suffers from ankylosing spondylitis (an incurable
and highly painful bone disease) and then grab the same
band’s lead singer to bring a show to a halt? Luckily,
Mick Mars was unharmed when some
f**kwit did exactly that during a Mötley Crüe
gig in Canada. Fair play to the Crüe for continuing
once the hullaballoo had died down a little. The older
I get, the more I despair of the human race…
So Kenny Jackett has resigned as boss of Scumwall. Not
exactly surprising. Jackett always struck me as a fairly
decent man, in spite of his employers. He also did an
impressive job of keeping Scumwall in the Championship
this season. Now that Dean Saunders, the
man responsible for spouting this unspeakable bilge
– and much, much more besides – before guiding
Wolves through the trapdoor into League 1, is a free agent
maybe the knuckledraggers should make an approach? He
sounds like just the man to finish the job.
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Monday 6th May
Bank holiday or not, here at Ling Towers it’s
a day of work on Download Festival programme notes for
yours truly. As I sat here transcribing interviews with
Bruce Dickinson, Pepper Keenan, Herman Li, Mick Box, Phil
Mogg, Joey Tempest, Tony Newton, Satyr, Ben Wells, Nev
MacDonald, Myke Gray and Ron Young among others, poor
old Eddie was queuing up at Selhurst Park to buy our Play-Off
seats. There were loads and loads of people there, apparently,
and poor Ed spent almost three hours lining up in the
beating sun though he did find the time to send a BB message
saying: “I’m not leaving till I have those
tickets!” Aw, bless...
I love the fact that Mick Box knew the exact date of Heep’s
last time on a Donington stage. “21st of August,
1982, it was, mate,” he announces, before reciting
the names of the other bands on that same bill, also that
Tommy Vance (RIP) was the compere, and going on to reveal
those acts he intends to watch this year. Diamond geezer,
and a genuine music fan! There ain’t many of those
about…
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Sunday 5th May
It’s tough to verbalise the relief generated
by Crystal Palace’s first victory in ten games.
Roared on by a capacity crowd of 22,154, The Eagles soared
into the play-offs thanks to yesterday’s thrilling
3-2 win, having gone behind twice in the game. Momentum-wise
it was great to end the season proper with three points,
and (amazingly) CPFC are now 180 minutes from a possible
appearance at Wembley after a two-legged clash with fierce
rivals The Unmentionable Team From The South Coast. With
Glenn Murray having broken his scoring draught via a brilliantly
taken penalty in first half injury time and Super Kev
Phillips reminding us of his prowess as a poacher, momentum
is definitely improving. Skipper Mile Jedinak’s
dramatic 89th minute header sent Posh in the other direction
(i.e. into League 1) – possibly a tad unfair given
the way the visitors had scrapped and peformed…
but what the feck, they’re managed by someone called
Fergiesbum so they deserve every ounce of excrement that
comes their way. Eddie and I stayed behind after the final
whistle to cheer the team’s lap of appreciation.
How nice that the Manure-bound Wilf Zaha, in what was
his final league appearance as a Palace player, came back
out wearing a vest declaring: “Thank U CPFC!”
A great gesture, Wilf. Now fire us to Wembley please,
before you move Ooop North.

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_ _ _ _ _
Saturday 4th May
Aaaarg! Play-off nerves have got to me. I awoke
at 5am, took Bob The Dog for a run through a deserted
Ladywell Fields and there are still four hours till we
are due to leave for the crunch game with Peterborough
United at Selhurst. What to do now? In the words of Father
Jack Hackett... “Drrrriiiinkkkk!” The Eagles
require at least a point to secure a possible promotion
berth, though there are numerous other permutations. The
only results we don’t want today are Nottm Florist
and Bolton to win and Palace to lose. (If Bolton win by
3+ goals or Forest by 6+ goals then a draw might not be
enough). It won’t be an easy game… no, no,
no. Peterboro are managed by the Son Of The Devil and
are scrapping for their lives at the other end of the
table, and they’ve also pulled some shocking results
out of the bag.
Only one thing is for sure. By mid-afternoon, should the
Eagles make the play-offs (KO is at 12.45), my Eagles-mad
buddies and I will stay in the pub till closing time.
And if we don’t, well… expect the exact same
scenario! COYP!!
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Friday 3rd May
It was extremely upsetting to hear of the loss
of Jeff Hanneman. Slayer’s guitarist has been absent
from the group since suffering a near-fatal spider bite
in his hot tub two years ago. Aged 49, he died of liver
failure. I met and interviewed Hanneman a few times, notably
in a small transit van en route from Manchester Apollo
to London's Hammy Odeon on the ‘Reign In Blood’
tour and again a few years later
for Metal Hammer. He seemed a likable guy with a sharp,
mercilessly dry wit. Sample quote from the latter story:
“What did you want ‘Angel Of Death’
to say... ‘Ooooh, Mengele was a very, very bad man?’”
On a happier note… you can always tell when the
warmer weather’s here: Bob comes to sit in the doorway
of my office as I work, soaking up the sunshine! It’s
always great to have him here!

And OM-Fuggin’-G, here’s the heavy metal
equivalent of Lord Lucan’s return. Over at the Vardis
Reunion Facebook page, after a few suggestive rumbles
– the admission that Gary Pearson had bought a drum
kit for the first time in 17 years, then a meeting between
Pearson, his drum tech Griff and the elusive Steve Zodiac
(“Great News looks like we WILL be seeing you all”)
– there are now extremely strong whispers of much
firmer developments. I’ll have some of that!!! Got
a suspicion that Mr Zodiac may not need the talcum powder
onstage anymore, though!
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Thursday 2nd May
Despite the fact that it meant restricting myself
to a flying visit – no booze and darting home straight
afterwards (couldn’t leave the kids alone at home
alone for too long…) – I was happy to accept
the offer to check out an acoustic showcase from Sound
Of Contact, the new band featuring Simon ‘Son Of
Phil’ Collins on vocals at London’s Gibson
Guitar Studios. The evening began with the unveiling of
a promo video for the group’s first single, ‘Not
Coming Down’ – though not strictly prog, it
struck me as an enjoyable pop song with a sophisticated
twist. The band then played three songs in vox/acoustic
guitar/piano format, starting with a repeat of the single,
then ‘Closer To You’, and then winding up
with a tune called ‘Omega Point’. I was sufficiently
impressed enough to make a point of checking out their
debut album, ‘Dimensionaut’, before next week’s
gig with Spock’s Beard and Beardfish.
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Wednesday 1st May
Last night was spent at Selhurst Park in the
company of Eddie, Steve ‘No Relation’ Way
and Laurence Adams for a live beamback of the South London
derby from the New Den. Several pints of foaming Palace
Ale and a hip flask of cherry brandy could not disguise
a dour game between two teams struggling desperately for
form. Three points against Scumwall, who were still not
safe from relegation, would have guaranteed a play-off
spot for the Eagles, who have now gone nine – yes
NINE! – games without a win. Accuse me of sour grapes
if you must but those tough-house tactics, the ‘homer’
ref and a pitch like a potato field let the Scummers right
off the hook. I’m still fuming as I type!
Anyway, this issue’s Playlist
and YouTube updates have been
made.
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